Project Gastronome, Day 14: Grass Jelly Drink & Strawberry Pearl Tea

Sorry this one is going up kind of late.  Blake had a PTA musical program tonight.  After the show, my parents offered to let the big two kids spend the night at their house, since they have no school tomorrow, so I took them there and then took Jack and went to the gym.  A timeline:
5 PM: left work
5:45 PM: got to Blake's school
6 PM: Blake's program began
7 PM: Blake's program ended
8 PM: Started workout, realized partway through that I had not eaten or had anything to drink since lunchtime (don't worry, the kids had dinner before Blake's program)

All of that is to say that by the time I got home and got Jack to bed, I was very thirsty.  This was a good thing, though, because it made me much more willing to try a drink that I was very hesitant about: Grass Jelly Drink.  For good measure, I added a second drink, too, but also because they were side-by-side in the cooler at the Asian market.  (By the way, this is the last Asian market menu item, I swear.)

Here's the cans, nicely chilled and ready for drinking.

Here they are again, this time with the English side facing the camera.

Look at that can on the right!  It's got those bizarre green cubes all over it.  They looked like nothing so much as green Jello.  Maybe this drink wouldn't be so bad!  The can on the left?  Odd looking, but promising.  I mean, I love tapioca pudding, and this thing has tapioca balls right in it.

First up was the grass jelly drink.  Every comparison I can think of for this drink falls short, because it tastes not quite like anything I've ever had.  It's kind of like a very highly sweetened (almost sickeningly sweetened) green tea, with honey and hints of jasmine and mint.  Oh, and also a dude blew his nose in it.  (I know how very awful this is, but I can't stop thinking "Me Chinese, me play joke...")  I don't generally have texture problems with food, but taking a gulp of grass jelly drink was like having a mouthful of especially slick snot chunks in my food hole.

I had to get this taste out of my mouth.  Fortunately, there was still the pearl soybean drink.  You guys...  It was FANTASTIC.  You probably should avoid it if you're skeeved out by anything other than drink in your drink, but it tasted just like Strawberry Quik.  Quik and tapioca - it was like being eight years old and back in my mom's kitchen!  For only 99 cents!

OK, here's what you're here for.  Watch the monkey drink the crazy stuff.