Before today, I had never tried an energy drink. I decided that Monday would be the ideal day of the week to have one, and not just any Monday, but one that came after a weekend of traveling. To ice the sleepiness cake, I stayed up until about 1 AM last night, playing videogames (BioShock 2, in case you care. I already can't wait for BioShock Infinite next year...).
Not having shopped for energy drinks before, I had no idea what a huge array of them there were. It's like a visit to the toothpaste aisle, where there are 200 different kinds, and you just want to find the one that tastes good and will keep you from getting cavities. I bought two of them, a grape Five Hour Energy and a Rockstar Juiced, and figured I'd decide which one to try later.
I usually save the video for the end, but for what I'm going to type after this to make any sense, I need to go ahead and put it in at this point.
Sometime between the purchase and the consumption, I got the idea that it would be really funny to drink both of them at once. This was STUPID. Luckily, I'm a pretty large guy and my body eventually absorbed everything I'd put into it, but it turns out that what I did was actually a medically dangerous thing to do. If you read the manufacturer's recommendations for both of these brands, they recommend consuming no more than two a day, and no closer than about six hours apart. Now, I'm not trying to be overly dramatic here - I don't think I was at risk of having to call an ambulance or anything, but seriously, don't do what I did.
Also, watching these different videos all at once is weird to me, because I'm not sure why I keep looking over my shoulder. I'm standing in front of a storage shelf in one of them. What did I expect to see when I looked back?!? I don't know, but it was an uncontrollable impulse. I felt like if I didn't look over my shoulder something very bad would happen.
Here's a little liveblog section that I kept throughout the day:
8:15 - am logged in and have responded to all emails that came in while I was out on Friday. Made a task list, ready to start on it. Feeling hyperfocused.
9:20 - head started swimming, flush of heat, alert but paranoid
9:40 - responded to 15 Words With Friends games in 5 minutes
9:50 - everything I do feels more urgent and dynamic. I didn't just buckle my belt after using the bathroom. I buckled the SHIT out of my belt.
10:00 - diuretic effects of caffeine kicking in. Have just visited bathroom for fourth time since arriving at work.
10:15 - constant low-grade buzz in my ears, short bursts of attention but having trouble staying with one thing
11:00 - hectic morning - co-worker on vacation, server crashed, error on another system, multiple vendors asking for information - feeling very irritable, especially with idiots who can't remember passwords
12:00 - tremors in hands, nausea
12:30 - feeling better with some food in stomach, but easily distracted
2:30 - ZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
6:30 - thought I had things back under control, but then I went to the gym. I was on the elliptical, letting Pandora choose my music for me, and realized that TEARS were coming down my FACE in front of PEOPLE, because "Don't Stop Believin'" came on.
I don't think these are a drink I will be having again. I'm not sure how much of their effect on me was actual, and how much was placebo, but I didn't like the feeling. Even when I was getting a lot done this morning, I had kind of a mean edge to my thoughts. Plus, at a time when I've been trying to eat more conscientiously, I couldn't escape the feeling all morning long that I had poured something (two things!) that looked, smelled, and tasted so artificial into my gut.