We did something a little different this time; after we each watched the movie, we jumped on Skype and chatted about it. Instead of editing it down to an article, I thought it would be fun just to let you in on the raw feed that is the awesomeness of the inside of Kristin's head.
I'm the black text, and Kristin's in blue.
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Kristin:
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Hey mister! It's Kristin! Finished the flick...
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Kristin:
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Not even sure where to start on this one. Maybe with... THE
SOUNDTRACK.
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Danny:
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YES - I had a note to bring that up with you!
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Danny:
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It got repetitive here and there, but that main theme was
FANTASTIC.
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Kristin:
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It was so fantastic. It was so bad 80s, and yet, also
porn-o-riffic.
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Kristin:
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Boogie Nights SO should have used that main theme song.
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Danny:
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Especially porny in the scenes where it's back in the city, you
know, to let you know that you're in the real jungle now.
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Kristin:
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Well stated...
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Danny:
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But coming off of Jungle Holocaust last night, I appreciated a
score with a little punch.
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Kristin:
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The fashion went with it perfectly- the braided headband, the
puffy sleeves. Almost made me miss Olivia Newton John... but not really.
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Danny:
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Yeah, I'm trying to remember - didn't the blonde guy have on
some kind of puffy vest?
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Kristin:
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No- but a sleeveless shirt/vest thing.
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Danny:
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And a skullcap. *rimshot*
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Kristin:
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HAA!!
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Kristin:
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THAT was definitely the only time I've ever seen that death as
well. There was NO DOUBT which death you were referring to once I saw it.
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Danny:
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Yeah, the closest I can think of is in Man Called Horse, but he
doesn't die from it, and it's definitely not quite as sensitive.
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Danny:
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We're talking about the booby-hooks, right?
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Kristin:
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No- I was referring to trapping him under the table and
slicing off the top of his head! But you're right- the boob hooks were
something.
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Kristin:
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Can one die from boob hooks? I actually made note of asking
that question while watching it...
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Danny:
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It doesn't seem like there'd be a ton of blood loss. Maybe from
the eventual dehydration and hyperthermia?
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Kristin:
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That, I can see- but I wouldn't think just from the hanging
itself. Otherwise, the Amazing Mr. Lifto would be toast.
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Danny:
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Man, I haven't thought of that dude since like 1995. Jim Rose
Circus, baby!
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Kristin:
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Love me some Jim Rose!
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Danny:
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I can't wait until my kids are old enough that the wave of 90s
nostalgia comes along. I'm saving flannels to hand down.
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Kristin:
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They will be so proud!! Save some Docs for them as well...
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Danny:
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All of mine were worn until there was no more wear in them. I
was a few years behind the curve, though. I spent the late 90s discovering
looks that you'd already found in the early 90s
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Kristin:
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Bah- I was just copying people on album covers.
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Kristin:
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So I'm curious - what did you find to be the most
shocking/surprising thing about this movie? I feel fairly certain we'll agree
on this point...
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Danny:
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Ooh, good question. See,
as a guy, my mind goes to the castration scene. But more than that was probably when she
got back to civilization and went ahead with her original thesis instead of
the truth.
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Kristin:
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GAH- again, I was wrong! Although I found that last bit to be
really interesting. Why do you think she lied? To protect herself from having
to explain the whole story?
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Danny:
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Wait, wait! We can come back to that. I want to know what shocked or surprised
you the most.
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Kristin:
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I was genuinely shocked and surprised by all the actual
footage of animals dying/being cut apart. Surprising, considering some of the
stuff I do, but you just never see that.
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Kristin:
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The tortoise scene was BRUTAL.
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Danny:
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Ugh. YES. I keep coming back to knowing that it's an
exploitation film, but STILL...
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Kristin:
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Poor turtle was still alive when they were cutting its legs
off!! That's horrifying- exploitation or not!
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Danny:
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Some of the scenes, too, like with the snake eating another
animal, just felt shoehorned in so that they could put another violent scene
in. And it wasn't even edited in particularly
well.
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Kristin:
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Yes- that and the iguana scene, I totally agree.
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Danny:
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I need to see which came first, this or Cannibal Holocaust,
since they did the tortoise thing, too.
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Kristin:
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Was the turtle alive in that? I don't even recall...
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Danny:
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Come to think of it, they may have beheaded it before they
opened it up.
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Kristin:
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I will agree that the castration scene was pretty shocking
too, though- but more because it was full frontal male nudity (although
brief) than the castration. And really, Mike kinda had it coming...
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Danny:
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Yeah, and that brings me to another thing I wanted to talk
about. I've now seen 3 of the
Italian-made cannibal flicks, and two of them come down very heavily on this
idea of, "Yes, these people are about to get torn up, but boy, did they
have it coming."
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Kristin:
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True of Cannibal Holocaust as well...
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Danny:
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Exactly.
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Kristin:
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I haven't seen many of these kinds of flicks actually. I've
tried, but I normally bore quickly. Oddly enough, this one kept my attention.
Maybe because the actor who played Mike reminded me of Josh Lucas.
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Kristin:
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What's the best of the Italian cannibal/mondo genre to you?
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Danny:
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This isn't a genre I think I'll be watching much more of. I watched Mondo Cane a few years ago, and
it wasn't at all what I expected, so I haven't really gone back to the mondos
much. I think the crown goes to
Cannibal Holocaust. It's repulsive, but
it sure does do what it sets out to do.
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Kristin:
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It does indeed.
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Kristin:
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There's a great doc called Snuff (about snuff films,
obviously) and they talk quite a bit about Cannibal Holocaust and why it was
so horrifying back then- that people genuinely thought it was real.
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Danny:
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I'll have to check that one out.
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Danny:
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I heard they had to show in court how they staged the impalement
scene.
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Danny:
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I kind of joked about it earlier, with the city being the
jungle, but there's definitely this underlying finger pointing in these
movies, "Who's the real savage?"
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Kristin:
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Completely. This was even more heavy-handed with that idea
when the village elders were seemingly "afraid because they were
white."
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Kristin:
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And of course, the villagers aren't nearly as horrible as Mike
and Pam. They were both quite deliberately unlikeable.
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Danny:
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There always has to be somebody who you're glad to see buy it.
And if it's a woman, it has to be the one who has sex
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Kristin:
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TOTALLY. The tramp has got to go! And how?? BOOB HANGING.
That'll teach girls to keep their knees together!
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Danny:
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Oof.
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Danny:
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Scream pretty much deconstructed all of this for us (when? THE
90S!), but it really is true about girls in horror. And for that matter, all
the other bad decisions they're making in this thing. You're hanging around
their village, having sex in their beds and trying to rape their girls - how
do you imagine this will end?
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Kristin:
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Precisely.
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Kristin:
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I thought it seemed a bit too easy for him to convince her to
"have a go" at the village girl. I was glad she ultimately thought
better of it and decided to forestall the rape.
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Kristin:
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With exploitation flicks- you never really know how far
they're going to go. And as a girl- a rape scene would have been worse than
the castration scene. It's all relative, isn't it?
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Danny:
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I should have probably known better, but when he asked her that
at first, I guess I thought he meant they'd jointly seduce a girl. That would
be a different movie, I suppose.
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Kristin:
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Probably a more profitable one...
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Danny:
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OK, so let's come back to that end real quick. You felt it was so she wouldn't have to
explain the whole thing?
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Kristin:
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That was my assumption. She didn't want to have to explain how
awful THEY were.
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Kristin:
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But still- she could have concocted some kind of story to make
herself a hero or victim. She didn't even do that. She just did... nothing,
basically.
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Danny:
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I see. That does make
sense. And she's definitely a passive
observer through the whole thing. I
saw it as her being penitent and protective.
She knew that the tribe had retaliated, but it was because they'd been
mistreated. She still felt like she was basically right, that they wouldn't
have cannibalized her party otherwise. And she doesn't want other people
going in there now - both because they could hear the truth about her party
and because she still feels some sort of protectiveness of her thesis.
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Danny:
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But I could be reading too much into it...
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Kristin:
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I certainly like your take on it better. It appears you have
more faith in human motives than I do...
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Danny:
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Which probably makes my take wrong, since I don't think these
filmmakers have much faith in humanity.
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Kristin:
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HA! Well, I don't know that they even thought it out that
much. They set out to make a cannibal flick with some shocking scenes, and
that's what they did. They do make the point, intentionally or not, that all
the animal kingdom can be a bit savage though.
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Danny:
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That's what I thought watching the snake scene. It was like a
Natl Geo special.
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Kristin:
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Indeed. It was a mix between Nat Geo subject matter with the
shitty camera work and contrivance of Faces of Death.
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Kristin:
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I feel certain Cannibal Holocaust came out first and these
guys were trying to ride its coattails.
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Danny:
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Oh, hey, I looked up "Ferox." It's Latin for fierce,
and is pronounced FAIR-ox
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Kristin:
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GO YOU. I was planning to look it up as well. I'd never heard
that word before.
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Danny:
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When I Googled it there was a link to a site that had a cool
British guy pronounce it for you.
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Kristin:
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It would make a great stripper name!
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Danny:
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Oh man, it really would. "Welcome to the main stage Roxy
Ferox!"
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Danny:
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(Is the kind of thing I imagine they say in strip clubs...)
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Kristin:
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SO MUCH. In a leopard thong and heels!!
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Kristin:
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And they'd play "Maneater"
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Kristin:
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I think we've got the plot line for a sequel, Danny!!!
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Danny:
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BOOM. I think we just became collaborators on a screenplay!
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Kristin:
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GENIUS
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Danny:
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A BunWerda Joint
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Kristin:
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We're gonna be huge.
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Danny:
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That movie where Natalie Portman was a stripper did pretty well.
So as long as we keep it classy-ish…
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Kristin:
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Natalie Portman as a stripper??? Why are we not watching that
right this minute??
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Danny:
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Cuz it's getting too late. Another time though, I promise.
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Danny:
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Holy cow, I just realized this could be my chance to meet
Allison Brie
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Kristin:
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LOL! You wish...
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Danny:
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Yeah... The part probably calls for somebody a little grittier
anyway.
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Kristin:
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So how many turtle shells are you going to rate Cannibal Ferox?
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Danny:
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Hmmm... It's not one I'm
ever going to find myself seeking out again in the future, but it did work
for me. 3.5/5?
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Danny:
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And you?
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Kristin:
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Personally, I'd give it 3. The voice dub was awful, but the
soundtrack was grand. It was certainly watchable though. If the end wasn't so
damn random and puzzling, I'd have given it 3.5.
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Kristin:
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I'd give it a 5 for the skull slicing scene though! Two
severed thumbs up!!
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Danny:
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Oh yeah, the skull slice was great, and the way they just kind
of took a bite or two of brain and left the rest for later...
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Kristin:
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All righty, Movie King! Did I do okay??
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Danny:
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This was great! I really enjoyed it. Want to do another one soon?
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Kristin:
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I'm in! I definitely want to participate as much as you'll
have me for the super-crazy-and-wrong movies.
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Kristin:
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I can't wait to hear what you have to say about Nekromantik.
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Danny:
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Beautiful. Thanks for joining me tonight!
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Kristin:
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It was fun!! Thank you for having me!
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